Pattern · 02 / 08
The Rescuing Helper
“You give a lot and ask for little. You feel guilty asking money for something you ‘just love to do’.”
What keeps you small
The pattern
In the rescuer role you choose to ask little and give a lot. It feels noble, but it is an energy leak.
The shift
What moves you forward
Stop rescuing, start leading. Know what you’re worth and ask for it.
A quote
“Unicorns don’t rescue, they lead.”
Your strength
People breathe differently when you’re near. Your care is real.
The question for you
What if you didn’t have to rescue to be loved?
How this pattern shows up
In your ordinary week
- 01You see a message about someone’s problem and you’re already solving it before being asked.
- 02You work for free for others ‘because it feels important’ and end up broke yourself.
- 03You feel guilty when you say no, even if your calendar is overflowing.
Three first steps
To do today
- 1Write down what it costs you, in time and money, to rescue this week.
- 2With each request ask: ‘is this mine?’ before you answer.
- 3Replace ‘I’ll just help’ with ‘I’ll see what I can do and get back to you’.
What you might ask about this pattern
The Rescuing Helper
What is the difference between helping and rescuing?
Helping asks. Rescuing assumes. Helping stands beside, rescuing takes over. The second drains you and keeps the other small.
But I genuinely enjoy helping people?
Hold on to that. The pattern isn’t in the helping, it’s in the assumption that you’ll just fix what isn’t actually yours.
How do I charge money for something that feels ‘easy’ to me?
What feels easy to you is ten years of practice for the other person. Price is what it solves, not what it cost to make.
Will clients get angry if I rescue less?
Some. That discomfort is usually proof that the pattern was there. It’s not a reason to return.
But is this really your pattern?
Seven questions expose it. Plus a workbook written for your specific type.